Proverbs 6:16-19
These six things doth the LORD hate: yea seven are an abomination unto him: a proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
Revelation 21:7-8
He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
Exodus 20:16
Thou shalt not bear false withness against thy neighbour.
Colossians 3:9
Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds
Psalm 119:163
I hate and abhor lying: but thy law do I love.
Proverbs 12:19
The lip of truth shall be established for ever: but a lying tongue is but for a moment
Proverbs 12:22
Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but the heart of fools proclaimeth foolishness.
Ephesians 4:25
Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.
Acceptance in American culture
I feel like lying is accepted in American culture. I understand that lying is a universal human condition, but in a capitalistic society it’s prevalent. I would suggest it’s because we are so driven independently. We are so focused on making a life for ourselves. Everything we do is for ourselves, for the most part.
What am I saying? I’m trying to point to the fact that we are always looking to serve ourselves, and in turn, it can become very easy to lie to get ahead or to look a certain way in a social setting. We all know the “one-uppers.” Some people will lie to be the best in any situation. They can make a story up on the fly that trumps a story someone else is giving in order to look more competent or more valuable. So annoying!
It’s about status and image to these people. It’s a ruthless game. American culture drives competition, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but there is a danger in that it can produce liars. Let’s beware of the status game and be content with who we are and where we sit in life. No need to lie or make up stories to make ourselves seem bigger than we are. I encourage anyone to strive to become a better Christian while simultaneously being content with ourselves.
1Timothy 6:4-10
He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmisings, perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself. But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
Walking in truth is difficult
The truth is, we are all flawed and have made many mistakes. The truth shines a light on our shortcomings and won’t always put us in a good light. Lying can bend the truth so a certain situation isn’t as bad as it truly is. It is easy to lie in the moment and cover our sins.
I’ve been around liars, and they are so fake and fractured, trying to manipulate reality and often getting away with it—but it’s only temporary. I’ve watched the lives of liars come crumbling apart, and the good people in their lives catch on to their lies and eventually leave them. People’s true colors always shine through. It’s interesting how the truth will always come out, sometimes in the smallest ways, but it’s just enough to know what’s really going on.
Going to church now that I’m walking with Jesus is so great and amazing. One thing that has been difficult for me, though, is being around life-long Christians who seemingly have done all the right things: brought up in Christian schools, never missed church, served in church, gone on to get an education, went to Bible college, avoided criminal convictions, always tithed, etc.
They were saved at a very young age, and all their family members are Christians. Their lives are so much different than mine. I started going to church when I was 35. I lived a life full of sin. I walked as what the Bible would describe as a fool and a wicked person until I was 33. I still struggle with sin to this day, two years later. Where am I going with all this?
Well, I have been tempted at times to lie about my past. Sometimes I want to minimize my mistakes and cover up my past choices. It’s hard to get up in front of a church and give my testimony to a bunch of second- and third-generation Christians. I’ve struggled with feeling “less than” while telling the truth. It would be so easy to lie about my past and never talk about something like being a convicted felon, for example.
But I know the truth is the best way forward. I’m an authentic person, and I honestly don’t care too much about what people think, because I know that if I lied about my past, all that would do is hide the grace that has been so generously given to me. I can’t stop talking about the mercy and grace God has given me. I don’t deserve His grace. So, to me, it would be atrocious to lie about my past because I wouldn’t be showing what Jesus can do for anyone who seeks Him. His grace is unlimited!
Short term benefits
Lying is incredibly enticing for many reasons. We can get what we want from lying. We can avoid pain and punishment through lying. People can be controlled when someone lies to them. There are many reasons to lie, all of which lead to a pit and a fabricated lifestyle. Living a lifestyle of lies can build a house of cards, where one truth being exposed can crash the entire project. I’ll provide a short and simple list of reasons someone might lie.
Exercising false competence
- People can lie on job applications claiming they are more skilled than they really are in order to get a job that pays more
- While looking for a significant other we can lie about how much money we make or how good of a home maker we are.
- In the work place someone might claim all the credit for a group project
Escaping punishment
- Kids are notorious for lying so they don’t get in trouble.
- Adults lie so they don’t get caught cheating for example.
- Lying to our bosses about missing a deadline
- Lying to cops..ect ect
Controlling people
- Gaslighting- making someone question their own memory of an event in order to weaken them and make them dependent on the abuser.
- Blam-shifting- liars and manipulators often accuse the victim of doing exactly what they are doing.
People can use lying in all sorts of ways to get what they want in the short term, but it often leads to long-term damage for both the victim and the abuser. We should be aware of the dangers of using lying in the short term to gain what we want. If you think you’re in a situation where you are being controlled, you need to seek help. Start by setting strong boundaries, and always remain calm and non-reactive.
Chase Hughes is a very good resource for people who think they are dealing with someone who is trying to manipulate them. He has a helpful tool for spotting what someone may be using to lie and manipulate you. He calls it the F.O.G. method.
The F.O.G. Method (Fear, Obligation, Guilt)
Manipulators will often use one of three methods to get what they want, referred to by Hughes as the “FOG” acronym:
- Fear: Threatening to leave, threatening your reputation, or creating anxiety.
- Obligation: Making you feel that you owe them something.
- Guilt: Making you feel responsible for their happiness or actions.
He says you should calmly call out when someone is using one of these with you.
The “Call Out” Phrases
Use calm, non-confrontational, and “I” statements to label the behavior.
- “Maybe you didn’t mean to, but it sounded like you wanted me to feel guilty.”
- “I know that you are a good person, so I don’t think you meant it that way.”
- “That commitment felt like it might be designed to shift control of the conversation.”
- “Help me understand what reaction you’re hoping for from me here.”
Key Principle
Manipulation only works when its intent is invisible. By calling it out, you take away the advantage.
The truth will set you free
Let’s look at how truth is diametrically opposed to lying. First of all, lying is directly opposite of Jesus. Jesus says lying is of the devil when He rebuked the Pharisees in chapter 8 of the book of John. The story picks up after Jesus brilliantly dismantles the scribes and Pharisees concerning the adulterous woman. In verses 12–59, He speaks against the scribes and Pharisees and calls them liars and workers of their father—the devil.
John 8:31-32
The said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, the are ye my desciples Indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
Here, Jesus is speaking to the “saved” Jews. He is saying that once we are saved, we can then know the truth, and the truth is in us and will set us free. Without Jesus, we are condemned, have no power over sin, and do not know the truth. Once we believe in Jesus and are saved from the wrath of God and eternal damnation, we will follow Him and the Bible, knowing the truth. The Holy Spirit will dwell in us, which is truth, and will guide us in truth as well.
John 8:42-43
Jesus said unto them, If God were your Father, ye would love me: for I proceeded forth and came from God; neither came I of myself, but he sent me. Why do ye not understand my speech? Even because ye cannot hear my word.
This can be applied to all nonbelievers. Without the Son, we don’t have access to the Father or salvation. Before I was saved, I couldn’t understand the Bible when I tried to read it. I couldn’t understand Christians or what they were trying to get across to me when they witnessed to me. It all seemed like abstract nonsense. This was because I didn’t have the Holy Spirit in me, and I lacked understanding.
John 8:44-45
Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of our father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.
Again, this is pointing to nonbelievers. If you are without Jesus, you are of the world, and the devil is your father. It is harsh, but it’s true. Christianity holds absolute truth; the church is the pillar of truth; Jesus is truth; the Holy Spirit is truth; so go and get you some truth!
Conclusion
All too often, we lie to each other. As Christians, we need to understand how wrong it is to lie. God hates liars, and we don’t often view lying that way—or at least I haven’t had that experience in church or around other Christians. If we heed what the Bible teaches, we can see how serious an offense lying is to God. Let’s grow in truth and put away lying! And nonbelievers, get you some truth! Surrender your life and call upon the name of Jesus Christ!
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